Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
