But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
