I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
