I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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