Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
