I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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