The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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