Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
