how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
