Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
