You smell like stripper and shame
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
