I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
