just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
