Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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