omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
