reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
