smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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