just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
