No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
