think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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