you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
