Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The struggles of a small town man whore
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
