Porn is love you can see.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
