Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
