please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
