dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i have two assholes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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