Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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