I hate all girls vehemently.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
