Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it's like heaven, but drunker
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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