how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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