What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
