you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
