Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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