he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
