I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
