Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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