So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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