I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Houston, we have a squirter
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
