I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
