you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
