my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
