i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
