I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
