put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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