So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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