I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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