who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
false alarm, still single
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