I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
they're like a gay fantastic four
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
