Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
