that's an acceptable place to lick
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
