i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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