so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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