I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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