the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
