I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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