Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
