last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We had sex on a dog bed..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
