I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize