Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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