He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
